Is It Safe To Tell What City Your In On Dating Site
NGL, it can be hard to tell the difference.
When I am in a relationship (using that term very loosely) that has progressed beyond a third or fourth date but hasn't been declared exclusive, I have no idea what to tell my friends I'm doing when I plan on hanging out with said person on a given night. 'I'm going to go have a drink with this guy I'm hanging out with,' is totally appropriate, but so is, 'This guy I've been dating a little bit asked me to grab drinks.' So are we dating, or hanging out? And why are there so many terms to choose from?
In online dating, you usually come across a jerk or two that you want to cut off from your dating life. For this purpose, Match.com allows its members to block other members. While this feature does prevent blocked members from communicating with you, however, it doesn't keep them from accessing other features, as explained by one anxious Match. Dating Safety Tips. For information regarding Plenty Of Fish's security practices or guidelines related to responsible disclosure, please visit our security page. Meeting new people is exciting, but you should always be cautious when interacting with someone you don't know. This dating site calls itself 'sexy personals for passionate people'. They has been around since 1996, over 18 years. It is one of the very first hook up sites online and it has real women on the site, NO BOTS, NO FAKE GIRLS. Make sure to fill out your profile completely and use clear photographs of yourself.
Realistically, we're 'spending time together after a few dates and thinking about finally hooking up,' but that doesn't seem as straightforward. I usually end up saying I'm 'seeing' someone, even if it's been six months and we go on extremely romantic dates. Relationship coach and clinical psychologist Morgan Anderson says that this confusion can stem from a lack of communication or clarity. “‘Situationships’ or ‘friends with benefits relationships’ develop when either one or both parties are not dating with intention and are lacking clarity on their relationship standards,” she tells Elite Daily.
Dating can mean anything from being in a committed, serious relationship to simply going on a handful of dates for a certain period of time. Meanwhile, it would seem that hanging out is just a euphemism for hooking up. The biggest difference between dating versus hanging out — according to dating and relationship expert Cora Boyd — is the intent, or lack thereof, to explore your potential. “Are we progressing and deepening this, or are we just ‘kicking it’?” she says.
To gain some much-needed clarity, let’s take a look at a few of the telltale signs to help you answer the question, “Are we dating or just friends?”
Do You Only See Each Other Late At Night?
If you're only meeting up once it's dark outside, it may be more of a booty call than a date. There’s a difference between grabbing sunset drinks and simply getting a “you up?” text after the sun goes down, and if most of your hangouts occur within the confines of a bedroom, then it’s probs safe to say you’re just hooking up.
If you're having fun, though, keep hanging. “There's nothing wrong with hooking up,” Boyd says, “especially when there's a mutual understanding that this is a hookup or a friends with benefits thing.” While late night hangs may point to more of a casual vibe on the dating versus hanging out scale, there’s nothing wrong with fulfilling your needs if everyone is on the same page.
Have You Gone Out To Dinner Together?
This is textbook old school dating. If you’re gone on three or more dates together out in public, then it’s usually safe to conclude you're dating. Of course, dating does not mean you’re exclusive, but if you're going on romantic little dates — especially if you aren't even sleeping over yet — then things may be getting legit.
As Anderson explained, “There is a beginning phase in any relationship, before the ‘define the relationship talk' has occurred, where two individuals are simply getting to know each other.” While Anderson emphasizes that “each person experiences these beginning stages of dating very differently,” it’s also evident that if effort is being put in to get dressed up and grab dinner, you’re likely both game to see where this goes.
Has Your Only Movie-Watching Been Via Netflix?
Are your “date nights” limited to Netflix-and-chilling? As intimate as it may feel to watch movies from the comfort of your apartment or your lover's abode (especially if you do so in bed), there’s a good chance you're just hanging if the only movies you’ve seen together are on a laptop screen.
Boyd explains that it isn’t the actual activity that’s telling, but the intention behind it. “It doesn’t have to be a big dinner,” she says. “It could be, ‘We’re going on a walk, and I’m going to show you the place I used to hang out as a teenager,’ versus, ‘Are we just watching Netflix all the time and not talking about what we’re doing?’” Going out to the movies wouldn't necessarily mean that they want to be with you forever, but it would suggest a certain effort reserved for more traditional dating.
Do You Usually Do Some Activity Together Before Hooking Up?
Even if it's just a matter of grabbing a drink together before you make your way to the bedroom, you're more than likely dating. Doing any sort of activity besides smooching suggests a desire to know each other better, which usually makes whatever you and your person are doing more meaningful than just hooking up.
Why is that? Well, as Boyd explains, by finding activities to do together, “we’re putting some thought and intention here to create special experiences and demonstrate our affection to each other.” Concerts, walks in the park, museums: These are all signs that the answer to the question of “Are we dating?” is yes.
Do You Have Conversations About Things Other Than Bodies & Sex?
If you’ve discussed things other than what you’re doing in the bedroom, then that’s a good sign. Even if you're just going on a handful of dates within a few weeks and then it ends, the dating part is in the conversation and getting to know each other. You're probably dating someone if you know where they grew up, how close they are with their mom, and their opinion on skinny jeans.
As conscious dating and relationship coach Clara Artschwager tells Elite Daily, opening up allows you to become emotionally vulnerable, which shows an investment in the potential of a relationship. “If someone’s being emotionally vulnerable with you,” she says, “then that’s not only a good sign, but an integral part of it.” No, you aren't necessarily in a relationship with them, but you are getting to know them and thus — on the dating versus hanging out scale — you’re dating.
Do You Only Text When You Plan On Seeing Each Other?
If your communication nets at zero when you aren't talking logistics for a night together, then you're probably not all that interested in being romantic outside of the occasional spooning sesh. Of course, there's nothing wrong with hanging out if that's what you feel like doing. It's great to have a 'hang out buddy' in your city for lonely nights where all you want is some company (and maybe a warm body, too).
“Texting more frequently can indicate that someone is building a deeper emotional connection with you,” Anderson says. But she also reminds us that texting isn’t everything, and each person communicates differently, adding, “Some people prefer to text all day long, while others prefer messaging only outside of work hours.” When you're dating, however casually, you're probably chatting away about your interests and how each others' days are going more regularly.
Are You At All Romantic With Each Other?
Whether they’re saying 'you look beautiful,' holding your hands at the movies, or making you a cup of coffee before they head to work, romance definitely points to dating. That extra effort demonstrates that they want to impress you and care about more than just getting physical.
“I view romance as a quality,” Boyd says. “It doesn’t have to come in the form of going out to dinner and flowers. What it really comes down to is thoughtfulness and creating special moments together.” Being romantic is one way to show you care about them and about progressing the relationship. Again, one could do all of these things and only be interested in hanging out, but it's not as likely. Dating means making a little bit more effort than you would for someone you see as just a hookup.
Do You Know Each Other’s Friends?
If you know their friends — and not just their roomie from 7 a.m. run-ins at the bathroom — then it’s pretty likely you're dating. When someone wants you to be a part of their life, one of the first steps is introducing you to their inner circle, as well as wanting to meet and be a part of yours.
“To introduce someone to your friends, you’re exposing a part of yourself,” Artschwager points out. “It is a vulnerable thing to do.” Any acts of emotional vulnerability are great clues in the guessing game of, “Are we dating or just friends?” Of course, you could know every last one of your fun buddy’s friends, go out to dinner regularly, and still just really be hanging out. We can't give these labels too much importance, because at the end of the day, the only label that really gives a relationship parameters is whether or not you are exclusive.
Even more than that, Artschwager challenges us to consider why we may be asking this question in the first place. “I think at the root of a question like, ‘Are we dating or hanging out?’ is ‘How do I tell if someone is into me without being vulnerable or getting hurt?’” According to her, solving this mystery will likely require you to initiate a conversation. And while it may hurt to find out that you aren’t on the same page, it’s always better to know now so you can find someone just as psyched to put in the effort as you are.
It's interesting that hanging out seems to be defined more by physical interactions than emotional ones when we are referring to a partner, but when we talk about hanging out with a friend, we mean a relationship that is entirely emotional and not physical at all. It would seem that dating is the sweet spot in between these two ways to “hang out.” Dating is when you find a person you'd like to be friends with and get physical with, even if you don't do those things exclusively together forever. As Boyd says, “Dating is a highly personalized experience, so it’s really whatever you want it to be when you’re brave enough to stand for what you want.”
On that note, happy dating/hanging!
Experts:
Morgan Anderson, relationship coach, clinical psychologist, and host of the Let’s Get Vulnerable podcast
Cora Boyd, dating and relationship expert
Clara Artschwager, conscious dating and relationship coach
Editor's Note: This story has been updated by Elite Daily Staff.
This article was originally published on
With the fast-paced lives most of us lead today, we're always trying to get things done more quickly and efficiently. But you don't want to experience any dangers of online dating. You gotta stay safe meeting men online.
Connecting with people is one example. Getting online makes it easier to stay in the loop with everyone even if we're on the go. We've got Facebook, Twitter, and all the social media tools at our disposal.
We're social animals, after all. A hectic schedule really shouldn't get in the way of staying connected - or making NEW connections for that matter.
Online dating is the most convenient way to look for love when you're busy juggling other stuff in your life. One quick look at a guy's dating profile, and you'll immediately figure out more or less if you're a good match.
Not only is it easy to screen for common interests and check off those 'Mr. Right' boxes, online dating helps you date MORE men in a shorter period of time.
Just a couple of decades ago, women couldn't meet a fraction of the number of men in their lifetime compared to today. That's why dating apps and sites like Tinder and Match.com are so popular - not to mention so lucrative.
On a yearly average, it's a $700 million industry with over 1,400 sites scrambling to offer you the convenience of meeting your potential soulmate in just a few clicks.
Like traditional dating however, meeting someone online has its own set of pitfalls you need to watch out for.
Whether you do it online or the old-fashioned way, dating will always be a mixed bag.
As for online dating though, the chances of actual physical danger are relatively low.
Of course, the extreme cases wind up on the news. Other than that though, you'll likely risk meeting guys who are boring or annoying at worst.
Nevertheless, personal safety should always be your NUMBER ONE priority when meeting total strangers, or going outside in general.
I always encourage women to take an ONGOING self-defense class. Know how to defend yourself and you've got no reason for worry.
While the likelihood of assault in online dating is RARE, it doesn't hurt to learn an essential life skill like defending yourself.
Aside from the physical risks, there are other factors you need to keep in mind before jumping into the world of online dating. Think twice about dating a guy if you spot any of the following warning signs:
Online Dating Warning - Sign #1: He's in a hurry
You've probably heard of couples becoming an item practically overnight (like with a friend or relative), but don't buy into the hype. When it comes to dating a guy online, fast and furious is NOT how you want to go.
Be wary of the person who's a little TOO eager to jump into a relationship both with feet. You're better off with a guy with a REASONABLE amount of hesitation.
There's nothing wrong with letting things play out first BEFORE making such a huge decision.
In fact, it's a sign of common sense - and a LACK of reckless behavior or malicious intent.
Online Dating Problem - Sign #2: His calendar is extremely tight
Is he struggling to squeeze you in his busy week? Is his schedule consistently packed with stuff to do …and little room to see or talk to you?
This obviously means that something's up, but a lot of women unconsciously ignore this sign because they're caught up in their feelings. And a guy that's in demand SEEMS more valuable.
No matter how great he might make you feel, watch out if seems like you need to make an appointment just to talk to him.
Whether he's hiding something important (like a wife or girlfriend) or is simply just too busy to see you, then he's clearly not available for you the way you deserve.
Watch out for this guy - Sign #3: Is He Phishing? Or Catfishing?
Money is awkward enough to talk about with a close friend or family member, let alone a total stranger.
So if a new guy broaches the subject right from the start (e.g. he needs to borrow a couple of bucks), he's probably trying to scam you. Both men AND women have been suckered out of ridiculous sums of money after falling head over heels with a con artist.
No guy in his right mind would ask someone he barely knows for money, so don't hesitate to block or report him immediately. Better safe than sorry!
However, it's not enough to know the basic warning signs. More than that, you also need to take the proper steps to keep yourself safe.
Here are top four dangers you need to AVOID while looking for love online:
Online Dating Danger #1: Losers and liars
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Romance is a heck of drug. When you meet a guy you really like, your brain is literally flooded with an intoxicating mix of neurotransmitters that make you feel good.
In this state, it's easy to overlook indicators of bad behavior or a destructive personality. This is why you need to make the mental habit of staying cautious even if you're swept in a tide of warm and fuzzy emotions.
You can't get around the biology of attraction, but that's not an excuse to turn a blind eye to the following signals:
- - Inconsistent statements: Is something NOT adding up? If he claims to be making six figures a month but had trouble paying cab fare to meet you, make a note of that. Same goes for his interests. Beware if he can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek when his dating profile said he was a 'sci-fi buff'.
- - He's not forthcoming: Never trust a guy who's skimpy on the basic details. Of course, talking about past relationships and childhood issues are off-limits in the beginning. But he should have NO problem giving out contact information like a phone number and email (even if only uses it for online dating), what he does for a living or his last name. He's up to something shady if he's holding out on otherwise harmless information.
- - He's a lone wolf: Does he refuse to introduce you to anyone from his social circles? If you don't know any of his friends, colleagues or relatives, then he's probably covering his tracks. This is - of course - a few dates into things.
And if he makes you uncomfortable even though you can't put your finger on it, it's time to play it safe…
The first thing you should do is make sure he's really the guy who he says he is. A quick way is to do a reverse image search on images.google.com using his profile photo.
Instead of typing his name in Google Images, click on the little camera icon in the search box and upload his picture. This will bring up any matches of the same image online and you'll find out if it's really his.
Also, it's a good measure to set up an email address you use exclusively for your dating activities. Take care not to put in your full name in your email profile, or any other bit of information that can be used to look you up.
Don't put yourself at risk by using an old email account (which probably has your full name, etc.) you've had for at least a year or so.
Aside from that, there are a number of ways to steer clear of unsavory men looking to take advantage of you online. Here are some additional tips:
- - Background checks are a must, and Intelius.com is a handy tool to look up anyone with an online dating profile. This works for any dating site so you can find out if your guy has a checkered past with other women.
- - Worried if he's committed a felony? Go to True.com to look up any criminal records …or if he's already married! (Yes, that's a real possibility.)
- - Match.com offers you an alternate contact number if you're still not comfortable giving away your real one.
- - Lastly, do a little Google-Kung-Fu and search his name. You might be surprised how easy it is to get a little info on your guy with a straightforward approach.
Online Dating Danger #2: Mr. Eager Beaver
Eagerness can be a good thing, but not when it comes to dating. You have to turn it down a notch when a guy seems to be in a hurry to take things to the next level.
If you find yourself getting caught in a rush of emotions, that's the best time to take a step back and do a little rational thinking.
Is It Safe To Tell What City Your In On Dating Site Online
Are you genuinely interested in dating him? Or is he just pressuring you?
On that note, does he REALLY have the qualities you're looking for in a soulmate or partner? Or are you unconsciously overlooking this part because he's telling you all the things you want to hear?
Even if you're feeling that spark, it's still a good idea to let things unfold naturally. Any decent guy will be cool with that and NOT make a big fuss about it.
Otherwise, take it as a warning sign if you get the feeling that he's on a timetable.
I always tell my female clients that all romances (online or offline) are a 'maybe' at the start. It's NEVER a 'YES!'
Sometimes, it can also be a 'NO' - and that's perfectly fine. It's easier to meet another guy online (convenience, remember?) than getting in too deep with someone questionable.
Look, there's a difference between honest-to-goodness enthusiasm and FORCING intimacy when it's CLEARLY not the time yet.
Be on the lookout for a guy with that nervous kind of energy about him. He'll have a desperate urgency to move things along right away.
Your best safeguard is to start off by communicating with him using the dating service's internal chat system. Then you can move on to email, followed by a voice call after.
If everything checks out, you can finally agree to meet with him in person.
Remember, it's your right to set the relationship at a pace you're comfortable with. Don't be afraid to let him know if you feel that things are moving too fast for you, or if you need a little more time to know him.
Observe how he reacts. If he gets bent out of shape or throws a tantrum over a reasonable request, that's your cue to STOP all forms of communication with him.
One of the advantages of online dating is the ability to block anyone who creeps you out or poses a threat. Don't be afraid to hit that eject button if the situation calls for it.
It may seem cold, but never forget that you should always look out for number one. Your safety is way more important than hurting a stranger's feelings.
Online Dating Danger #3: Letting desperation get the better of you
There's no easy way to say it, but most of the women who get scammed when dating online are the ones who are desperate for a partner.
And just like traditional dating, there will always be guys who will take advantage of women looking for someone to fill in that empty void in their lives.
It's like buying a car. You wouldn't whip out your checkbook for the next available one with an engine and set of wheels, would you?
You simply don't want to get from point A to point B. You also want to make sure you get there are safely and comfortably.
You get my drift?
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It's important to have STANDARDS, especially when it comes to a potential partner.
You could very well be investing YEARS of your life with this person, so it's wise to weed out the clunkers from your dating pool.
And if you're too lonely to consider this, an unscrupulous guy might slip through the cracks without you noticing.
The best way to keep a healthy perspective on men and dating is to make sure the other parts of your life are on point.
The better balanced these other aspects are (e.g. your job, personal hobbies, non-romantic relationships), the pickier you'll be when it comes to guys.
And trust me, being picky with men is NOT a bad thing.
Having a support system in place will make you a happier and more stable person…
…which in turn, makes you a better judge of character.
Online Dating Danger #4: Mr. Player
Whether you're meeting someone online or offline, there's the risk of running into a guy who's just looking for another notch on his belt.
This type of guy isn't interested in a deep emotional connection. He's only after a one-night stand, and lots of guys get online for this sole purpose.
I'm not making judgments of any kind here. If you happen to be into casual intimate relationships, then that's fine. What I am saying though, is that you need to be EXTRA careful with that kind of approach.
Though I'll bet you're looking for much more than that.
Whatever your preference, it doesn't mean you should throw caution to the wind. You should NEVER ignore the following:
- - He's in a hurry to get your personal contact details, like your Facebook profile, personal number and email. Online scammers are after personal information, so it's a good measure to hold out on giving this away. While you're at it, avoid putting any sensitive information on your dating profile as well. The last thing you want is to provide clues about your password or other personal details.
- - He wants to meet up RIGHT AWAY rather than get to know each other first. Or worse, he wants to stay at your place on the first date…! Even if you're interested in a one-night stand, you should still take the time to chat rather than having a face-to-face meeting right out the gate.
- - His dating profile looks 'tailor made' to specifically impress you. For instance, his interests seem to perfectly match yours. If you feel like he has TOO MUCH in common with you, maybe that's part of his plan.
- - He says all the right things. Everything he says sounds a little too perfect. He makes you feel like you've known him all your life.
If any of these apply to him, you can do a little homework before meeting him in person. Do a background check like I said earlier - even if you don't have any intentions of seeing him after your one-time fling.
If he really seems 'off' for any reason and you want to be absolutely sure who you're really dealing with, consider doing a PAID background check as well.
They're not as costly as you might think, and this added precaution certainly won't hurt you.
Also, you should check out this useful guide on online scams just to make sure all your bases are covered.
And while you're on the date, it helps to remember the following:
- - Stay off the booze (for now): Until you've gotten to know him better, avoid partaking in any alcoholic drinks that can lower your inhibitions and better judgment.
- - Arrange for your own ride: This goes for getting there and going home. Meeting a total stranger means you should avoid getting in their car or getting picked up at your place. Any decent guy will respect this - and probably do the same.
- - Inform someone you know: Tell a friend or relative if you're meeting someone new and where you'll be for the next few hours.
- - Agree to meet somewhere public: Have an easy point of exit in case you want to leave immediately. Coffee dates are good, or anywhere you won't rack up a huge bill (unless you've already worked out how to split the bill in advance). It's also good to meet at a reasonable hour, like lunch time and NEVER at a weird time (i.e. past or close to midnight).
- - Don't take him home: Also, don't go to his on the first date (or even the first few ones). Online dating works differently in the sense that you know virtually NOTHING about the person. Even if you're both just in it for a fun, that doesn't mean you should go somewhere with him that will put you at risk.
But above all, you should trust your instincts.
In spite of everything of you've learned about meeting guys online, don't tune out that voice in your head if it's STILL telling you to walk away.
If your 'Douchebag Radar' is going off, don't ignore it even after you've taken all the precautions we just talked about. Sometimes, that part of your brain already knows something's wrong before the rest of you does.
Your gut instinct is there for a reason - you'll be fine as long as you don't ignore it.
Knowing a guy goes deeper than spotting the basic red flags. If you want to really know his intentions, there are subtle hints that will tell you the REAL story.
Most women miss these important signals completely, and they end up not hitting it off with a guy even though he turned out to be perfectly decent. When you don't know what he's thinking or feeling, or what he needs from you, even great relationships will eventually fizzle out.
If you want to take your guy-reading skills to the next level, check out my presentation on how to read his signals.
Is It Safe To Tell What City Your In On Dating Site Test
UPDATED 10/6/2021