He''s On A Dating Site In Less Than 8 Hours After Breakup

One of the most difficult aspects of a breakup is dealing with seeing your ex with another woman. The odd part about the whole thing is that even when we initiated the split we don’t like to see anyone else on the arm of ‘our man.’ Unfortunately, it is even more difficult to see when he left you. If after the breakup he is already dating someone else and you are going out of your mind with misery there are a few things you can do to make it a little easier on yourself.

Cliché but True – Time Heals All Wounds

When I went through my last breakup, I knew it needed to end a lot sooner than when it did. I knew that my boundaries were almost non-existent, that I was over compromising and that I was spending way, waaaay too many hours agonising over trying to ‘decode’ what what going on in his head and why he would do the things he did.

  1. After 1 1/2 years, dating a widower, he just decided he needed/wanted to be alone. Then I found him on a dating site – looking for marriage. I confronted him. HIs daughter told me 1 thing, he.
  2. For now though, let’s talk about how you can benefit from dating casually. Think of it as a chance to get back out there and rebuild your confidence. There’s nothing quite like making love to a new woman for the first time, especially after a bad breakup. It’ll help you feel like your life is headed in the right direction.
  3. February 19, 2020. September 9, 2019 by Zan. When your ex starts dating right away or soon after the breakup, your ex’s actions have a lot to say about him or her. Your ex’s immoral deeds indicate that he or she has been plotting the break up for a while and that your ex has been looking for a strong incentive to pull the trigger.

While you don’t want to hear this now, the truth of the matter is that time does heal if you let it. You may never forget the love you shared and you will probably feel a pang or two of grief for your loss even after you have moved on in another relationship. Anyone who tries to tell you that the pain won’t stay with you for a very long time is probably lying to you. Nonetheless, it will be muted by time and there will come a day when you find that it doesn’t actually hurt anymore and it becomes more of a sad memory than outright pain.

After

Mourning Your Best Friend

Speaking of that penetrating sadness you are bound to feel, breaking up with a spouse or boyfriend often means that you have also lost your best friend. After the initial flames of romance cool off and couples grow used to each other they often become more like best friends and less like lovers. Sex may still be as good as ever but the relationship itself doesn’t stay as intense over time. In fact, it may take more time to heal from the loss of your best friend than the loss of a lover. Fortunately, there will be a time in the future when you have a new lover/partner again and will find that they have now become your new best friend forever.

Walking Away With Your Self Esteem Intact

One of the hardest things you will probably face is being able to walk away with your self esteem intact. This is especially true if he left you for another woman. It is all well and good for others to tell you to hold your head up high and pretend as though it doesn’t matter but they are not breaking apart from the inside out. Even so, they are right most of the time. If the breakup was brutal he may have demeaned you trying to justify his infidelity or his need to break free. You don’t need to internalize that! Realize that some relationships just aren’t meant to be and you may not be the ultimate cause of the breakup. Usually both partners play a role in the separation so trying to put it all on you is foolishness. Just because he is already with another doesn’t mean that you have failed him or the relationship in any way.

Stick Close to Friends – Stay Busy

Although the very last thing you feel like doing at the moment is hanging around with a bunch of your friends, especially if they were friends/couples you shared together. Perhaps you fear running into him with his new fling on his arm. That is understandable but you must have friends that were not part of the relationship you had with him. By having people around you it is easier to avoid a state of severe depression. Stay busy and stick close to friends for the moral support they can offer. A word of caution is probably in order here. Even though it is in your best interest to keep your mind busy so as not to dwell on that loneliness and heartbreak you should try to avoid looking for a ‘replacement.’ Sure, you’d like to stick it in his face that you are seeing someone as well but this could backfire on you. Don’t you think that guy on your arm is going to sense that he is being used?

Finding Support in Encounter Groups

There are a number of encounter groups you could join if you just don’t have anywhere else to turn. You will commonly hear others complaining that so soon after the breakup he is already dating someone else. Remember, it works both ways! Sometimes it’s ‘after the breakup she is already dating someone else.’ Although these groups are predominantly populated by divorced or separated men and women, people also join who were simply boyfriend and girlfriend or engaged. Broken hearts are not relegated to married couples and many a budding new romance began at encounter groups like New Beginnings. These groups have dances and social functions as well as group meetings to discuss their emotional state after breaking up. Check with your local churches for times and locations of meetings in your area.

Seeking Professional Help

If your depression gets too extreme and you find that you are just not able to carry on normal daily tasks as usual then perhaps you should be talking to a trained professional. Many women find that breaking up takes such a toll on them that they just can’t get up the ambition to leave the house or do the things they should be doing. Some women even have difficulty getting dressed in the morning as they feel there seems to be no reason for it. It is in times like these that it is important to learn to cope with the pain. This is even truer if the breakup was particularly nasty and he tried to bring you down in the process. There is nothing wrong with feeling blue when a relationship ends but there is something wrong with letting it get the better of you.

Believe it or not, breaking up is not the end of the world even if it feels like it today. No one is denying the horrific pain you are feeling when after breaking up he is already dating someone else. It’s horrible and you would like to play Lorena Bobbit or break both her arms and legs, but of course you can’t. (No one said you couldn’t dream!) Try to understand that this too will pass, even if only to a dull throb. Stay busy, surround yourself with friends and if all else fails join a support group or talk to a counselor. Just because your relationship came to an end doesn’t need to mean that you need to crawl in a hole and die! You are worth more than that. You are woman, you are beautiful and there is life after love.


A week ago I was caught completely off-guard when a 15 month relationship came to a screeching halt. He came over , cuddled up to me and proceeded to tell me, while using his usual pet names, why we can’t be together anymore. He’s too busy at work, he can’t give me the time I deserve, he just can’t see a future for the two of us given the current situation. A long list of heartbreakingly corny lines that, I assume, were supposed to make me feel better about myself.
I didn’t cry (much) or beg or ask him to reconsider or try to convince him.

After I realized that he had given up and wanted out I let him walk out the door with my dignity intact. I haven’t sent him drunken texts since, I haven’t insulted him on social media. I told him that I can’t be friends – at least not yet – and that I trust him to respect that boundary. Internally, however, it’s been a completely different story. I found myself doubting everything that had happened throughout the relationship – every word, touch, smile and look.

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I felt completely useless and redundant. I felt used. I spent 15 months of my life in utter devotion to this guy; I nursed him back to health after an accident; I supported him through incredibly scary situations; I gave up pretty much all of myself to give him what he needed. And he threw it back in my face.

And that was the problem – I gave all of myself while, deep down, I knew he would never do the same. The breakup happened a week ago, but the crumbling and breakdown of the once-amazing relationship we had happened about three months ago. Maybe that’s why I was able to let go with relative ease; why I didn’t fight him on it; why I didn’t crawl back. At the back of my mind I had known that it wasn’t going to work out. We wanted different things, we needed different things. When we met, I was carefree, fun and independent. He had the willingness and time to dedicate days on end to me and to us. When things got tough, the cracks began to show.

The most haunting thing is that, around two months ago, I gave him an ultimatum: I asked him if he saw a future for us, because if he didn’t then I just couldn’t see myself going through all of this drama for something that will inevitably end. He responded with “obviously I see a future with you”. That reassurance was enough to convince me to ignore the nagging voice at the back of my mind, telling me that it wasn’t healthy anymore.

The point of this article isn’t to break down my ex to some dirty piece of scum with no heart. He’s an amazing guy and, as I see it, I’ve come out on the other end with a lifetime worth of memories, stories and lessons (cue Christina Aguilera “Fighter”) . I have no hate for him as an individual or our relationship. It was beautiful and fulfilling and precious. But it didn’t work. And that’s something that I’ve had to make peace with. Sometimes two people love each other (true, deep love) and it just doesn’t work. That’s no one’s fault.

He's On A Dating Site In Less Than 8 Hours After Breakup Symptoms

The day after the breakup, I joined Tinder. Partly because I wanted to see if he was on there (he was) and partly because I was joking around and putting on a brave face. I was staying with a friend at the time and didn’t want her to see that I was still struggling to come to terms with all that had happened in the previous 24 hours. As I was swiping vigorously from one guy to the next, an incredible thing happened. I got matches – actual matches from (possibly) actual men.

He's On A Dating Site In Less Than 8 Hours After Breakup Movie

In that moment I didn’t feel quite as unwanted as before. Sure, these men knew absolutely nothing about who I really was, I guess they just like my glasses and boobs. But the mere fact that I could still be considered attractive after everything that had happened meant the world.
Now, I can already hear the critics: “WOMEN NEED TO STOP MEASURING THEIR WORTH BY HOW MEN TREAT THEM,”

“IT’S NOT HEALTHY TO JUMP INTO DATING STRAIGHT AFTER A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP ENDS,”

“YOU NEED TO LEARN HOW TO LOVE YOURSELF!”

He's On A Dating Site In Less Than 8 Hours After Breakup Of The United States

Well, naysayers, let me address each of you individually. Firstly, I wasn’t measuring my worth by men’s standards. Me joining tinder was no more demeaning than walking into a full bar on a Friday night. After being in a relationship for as long as I had, I lost touch with myself. I forgot how to flirt and laugh and engage with people.

I got comfortable with knowing that the person would always be there. I let myself go and instead grasped onto a man to make me feel better. So, trust me, no one is more against women trying to find their worth in the eyes of a man. I joined tinder because I needed a confidence boost and a distraction. And because I didn’t have an endless supply of alcohol at my disposal.

Secondly, to the people yapping on about not jumping into new relationships: I have no desire to be in a relationship right now. Nothing excites me more than the realization that I, finally, have the time to invest in myself and my own needs. But that, unfortunately, does not mean that I won’t get lonely and seek some companionship. Am I looking for my husband right now? God, no. Am I looking for someone to share funny things with, cuddle with and talk shit with? Hell, yeah.

He's On A Dating Site In Less Than 8 Hours After Breakup Pictures

The secret, I think, is keeping yourself from falling back into old habits (sign of insanity, and all). I made countless mistakes in the past and, I’m happy to say, I’ve learnt from them. I’m also not stupid enough to ignore the fact that fate has a bunch of surprises in store for me. I met my ex on a dating site because I was looking for a laugh – and that brought me more than a year of, mostly, very fulfilling times. I’d be stupid to discard the idea of dating right now simply because my past relationship failed. That would be pessimistic and defeatist and I’m not ready to subscribe to that just yet.

To the third group of critics: I haven’t been loving myself for a long time. For the past four years or so I’ve been going through immense depression with multiple suicide attempts and countless sleepless nights filled with tears and painkiller addictions. I’ve realised that there’s no magic fix for that and complaining won’t get me far. After this breakup I managed to gain the perspective that I’d been lacking before – I realised that I’m not meant to be a silent victim in the corner, grasping at whatever love she can get. Joining tinder isn’t some quick-fix for me to love myself (see point one). Instead, tinder is a vehicle for me to explore what I want, where I want to go and what I’m looking for.

Joining a dating site has, so far, given me the gift of laughter, distraction and interest. It’s given me a chance to objectively look over my life and see my mistakes and triumphs, making me smile and cry in equal parts. There aren’t any concrete rules for dealing with breakup and heartbreak. Don’t let anyone tell you how to deal with your situation – if you make mistakes, you’ll hopefully learn. And at the end of the day, you’ll have some truly great stories to tell.

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